Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize