i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
