did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
