I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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