he wants to bone in the snuggie
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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