shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm sobbing to NWA
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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