Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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