I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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