Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
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Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
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He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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