I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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