This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
