He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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