Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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