In the future we'll all be gay
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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