i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
