2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
