Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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