This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
