I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
