we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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