DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
