in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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