The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I think weed is turning my hair brown
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
