Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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