WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
