Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
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Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
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And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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