Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Help me help you realize you are a moron
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
