i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
