Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
