Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize