I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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