We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
