yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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