I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I could make wine with my vomit
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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