Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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