You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She has the best kind of daddy issues
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
