i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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