When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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