i jhust puked up my retainher.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I FOUND THE LEGS
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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