An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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