At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize