I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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