don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
