Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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