i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
