you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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