just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
