i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
