would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
