think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
