he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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