I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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