They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
