So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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