then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
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At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
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He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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