I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
