Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
