She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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