Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
