So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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