i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize